Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
