they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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