I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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