Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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