I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
