It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
