I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
