how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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