is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
