butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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