There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
