HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will be naked everywhere
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
