seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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