What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
