I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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