My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
