i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm always down for nudity.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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