this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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