Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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