Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
