All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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