Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
