He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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