How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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