why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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