do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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