I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
