Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
