have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
