Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
