I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
