My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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