i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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