How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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