I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
