he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
