you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i think i just lost a toe
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
