it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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