Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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