this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
