Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
