so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
