I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
