she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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