I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
