i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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