I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
