Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
