There was a lot of him and a little penis
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
