I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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