She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
