I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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