Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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