the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
