She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
either way he was missing a nipple.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
