that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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