i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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