ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
