Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
