it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
