I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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