i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize