I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize