I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
