Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize