You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she smelled like a LAN party
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
