Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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