Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
People in love make me want to vomit
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
