so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
